I sat at the top of the massive hill overlooking the vast expanse of desert stretching out to kiss the horizon in every direction. To the west were the great limestone canyons, gray and white with fossilised coral formations, the ground resembling snow due to a heavy layer of alkali powder from the days when this region was covered with salt water. To the east were the dunes, mile after mile of sandy beige ripples disturbed only by the occasional mighty dust devil.
I was heading north, into the red rock canyon, a layered formation born of younger rock, iron-rich sandstone pitted with great holes and seated on petrified mudslides and pools of crimson sand. Not much in the way of plant life since water had dried up years ago and the wind had blown away any clay so the ground would not absorb water even if it did rain. But the rock sculpture was certainly a testimony to the creative license of nature, a tribute to heat and pressure, time, and the natural elements of wind and rain. What a celebration of non-organic life!
But I was not supposed to be impressed. In the roar of an engine, I had lost everything. Thus I was doomed to be a loner, stoic and taking no joy in anything ever again other than my car.
I eased off the clutch and pressed the pedal to the metal of the Magnum Opus, her powerful V8 engine roaring as I laid wide tires into the sand, almost vaulting down the hill into the arms of the desert valley, leaving a cloud of dust in my wake. I heard Chumbucket yell out, “We’re airborne! My Angel has spread her wings!” He was my black finger, my mechanic, who rode with me everywhere I went and kept the Magnum Opus’s motor running. My car was a legend. She had a 1973 Ford XB Falcon body called the Wild Hunt. She was fully armored with border spikes, spiked rims on the tires, ramming grill, quad nitro boost, side burners… plus built in sniper rifle, harpoon and thunderpoon. She was a mobile arsenal. In the great wastelands, I was a force to be feared and revered.
Oh I made a rhyme!
Chum rode in the back of our angel. It was like a Ute. For Americans, think of an El Camino. It was like that. Only armored and with roller bars and stuff. And it was steel in colour but looked silver in the sunlight, with chrome decals that changed hue in changing light. It was fierce.
We were blazing across the valley when I heard Chum call out, “Here they come, the roadkill scum!” Ouu, Chum made a rhyme! Damn, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with those roadkill idiots. I was on one of those long journeys inside my head and couldn’t be bothered with shaking them off. But I was well enough to drive. I did attempt to outrun them, a shot of nitrous blasting the Magnum Opus forward across a ravine. But my trail of dust betrayed my position and they stayed on me. Three scrapalapa armored cars. “Chum, thunderpoon,” I yelled. He was on it, holstering the big launcher onto a shoulder as I hit the breaks, slowing down enough to allow one of the cars to get along side me, and then BOOM! The car exploded into a billion shards of metal, which meant more scrap for me. “PRAISE BE,” Chum cried, “We win again!” Woot!
The second car was banging into my bumper. I served left then gave my engine a big swig of nitrous and burst forward a good ways, spinning around in a burnout of sand, grit and smoke. “Harpoon,” I yelled. I stepped on it, bolting forward straight at the second car, then swerved to the right as Chum locked the harpoon’s scope onto the front left tire of the enemy and BANG with the pull of a trigger, a harpoon shot out and latched on. The click of a button and the tire was ripped right off, rendering the vehicle uncontrollable. Chum and I pointed and laughed as we watched the second car swagger to a stop. The drive hopped out of his car. I did a 180 and headed back for him.
I popped out of my car and ran up to the driver, not waiting for him to throw the first punch. I socked him in the jaw then decided I didn’t have all day to stand around duking it out with this wastelander infidel, so I pulled out my shotgun and blasted him into eternity. And here came the third car.
The driver stopped the car, jumping out and I could see he was wanting a proper fist fight. Did I mention I couldn’t be bothered? So I hopped into his car, hit the gas, and ran him over. Easy peasy!
“Victory is ours” Chum cried triumphantly.
I settled back behind the wheel of the Magnum Opus. Chum said, “I don’t mean to question your saintly methods, but the Angel requires we continue with our holy mission.”
I revved her engine. “Aye, Chum, we must. The show is starting soon! We can’t be late or the sim will fill.” I pointed us in the direction of Copperhead Road, and we spun out for The Empire Room to enjoy another great show from Elysium Cabaret. Paul would be waiting to greet us, DJ Gunner would be spinning tunes warming up the crowd, and Wiz would be patrolling the dressing rooms making sure all the dancers and choreographers were ready. “Just think, Chum, pretty soon we will be drinking champagne and eating cracked crab… a far cry from water and Dinki Di dog food! But you know, Jilley’s probably going to make us take showers and put on clean clothes before she lets us in.”
I hit the nitrous one more time to give us a jump since we were running a bit late by now. Chum pounded the roof of the car. He cried out with excitement, “Welcome to the weekend!”
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Jilley
with Gracie and Sammy
Evgeny Mikhailovich Belyaev – Kalinka
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Eva
with Cowgrl, Nadi, Victory, Zena, Aspen, Niecho, Tristan,
Cirque Du Soleil – Alegria
1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
I honestly didn’t remember signing up for the foreign language songs theme – but here I am! Alegria, a song from Cirque, has always been the essence of my dance imagination. A little bit of magic, a little bit if quirkiness, a little bit of excitement the unexpected, and a whole lot of fun!
2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
The costumes kicked in my OCD! They had to be “just right” with that cirque yet sexy feel. I now own 20 different pairs of tights, leggings, underwear, and shoes…and my linden bank account is much lower…
3. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
Sometimes you have to step away from the scissors and glitter!
Truly, I couldn’t do this without those who dance with me. Their preparation, patience, keeping spirits up, and keeping me calm and smiling. They are as much of this as I am.
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Luna
with Carol, Aspen, Gracie and Kelly
Maria, by Ricky Martin
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Taema
Cafe Bleu by Soha
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Jo
with Seb, Tray, Melvis, Cael, Nara, Eva and SoCo
Non siamo soli – Eros Ramazotti with Ricky Martin
1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
Everyone knows I never do theme shows. But when I heard Foreign Language songs I knew exactly the song I wanted to do for this. I studied Italian for many years and went to language school in Italy three times and there I discovered Eros Ramazzotti. This song, Non Siamo Soli is just so full of life and exuberance. To me it’s like an Italian Dancing in the Streets!
2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
Italians! Soccer!!! I wanted so badly to have the guys do a “soccer playing dance” but all the poses were static and looked crazy when I put them into a sequence so I ended up with just a hint of soccer in the opening poses. Perhaps someone more clever than me will do it one day.
3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
Both. It is such a fun song but the lyrics are meaningful as Eros with Ricky Martin sings about how we are all connected by our humanity and are searching for the same things in life. We have the same wants and ideals, the same desire for freedom. We are not alone!
4. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.
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Diawa
Oiran (Japanese)
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Babypea
with Web and BB
Rammstein – Ich Will
1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
I love the energy of Rammstein, they are one of my all-time fave bands. I saw them in concert in Vegas… got knocked down in the mosh pit. They were amazing… powerful! Their music makes me hungry.
2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
The first five seconds of the song were too quiet and were getting dropped when played through SAM. I had to edit that part and amp the first five seconds. Also, finding the right animations. I wanted the choreo to be ‘ugly’ so to speak… to look rather painful. Juxtaposed with a beautiful costume. Painful beauty. Beautiful pain. Twisted animations. Twisted beauty.
3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
It is creepy fun! And good stress relief. It is how I had wild, kinky sex with this song.
4. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
It is the temptation of Sleeping Beauty, touch the spindle! But really it is about all the things stressing me out, and me trying to resist the lure to simply sleep through everything. Sleep is such blessed escape. Far better escape than SL. I love to sleep. I have the most amazing, totally awesome dreams, detailed, full of colour and so active. Embrace the spindle. BE the spindle!
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Bella
with Everyone
Los Lobos – La Bamb
Falco – Rock Me Amadeus
Nena - 99 Luftballons
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Elysium Cabaret 