The Merry Show of December 21st 2018

[17:38] Sidwg: uh oh… Baby doing a festive Blog… whats she going to find in peoples drawers this week?

The party continues, here on this blog… the party from the show Friday night in The Empire Room at Copperhead Road… Elysium Cabaret!

I suppose by now the truth is out and everyone knows. All tongues are wagging about my fall from grace in that I have given birth out of wedlock to the demon son of that infernal Sock Monkey that possessed Stoke’s body. I would like to make it known, I did not have sexual relations with that sock monkey! It never happened. I have no idea how I came to be with child from it. All I know is, nine days after I bravely fought that sock monkey for Stoke’s biceps, I gave birth to a creature… some sort of Santa Baby creature. It had to be from an imimmaculate conception. Or anti-immaculate conception. Not sure what it would be called. Unimaculate? But I assure those of my admirers who are disappointed in me for having joined my person with that of a sock monkey, it never happened! I am innocent!! Dammit.

Damn gossips and their lies. Anyone who knows me knows that I have higher standards than to commit coitus with cashmere. So stop thinking I would ever stoop so low, be so desperate, so shamefully kinky as to partake in physical relations with a demented sock monkey. Now, I have to go back to work on my show review. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to the Elysium people. I want you to listen to me. I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that sock monkey, StokeMe. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the Elysium people. Thank you.

Once the inconceivable conception that I had conceived settled into my mind, I simply accepted my contrived condition and ate lots of donuts and pancakes so the abominable offspring would at least be healthy. I prayed he wouldn’t have his father’s lips. I found myself craving moonpies and was consumed with an obsessive need to roll wool into balls. By the time I went into labour, I was up to five balls a day. Oddly, the sight of knitting needles would trigger fits of nausea. Yet I found crocheting to be soothing and often would crochet by the fire to settle my tummy. It was one night when I was using the popcorn stitch to crochet an apron that the spirit of Richard Simmons appeared to me, and informed me that the child I was carrying would be a male and that I was to name him Little Stoke.

Right before I gave birth, I had to go to Copperhead Road to dance in a theme show that was based on a celebration of the five primary senses. In fact, the show was called The Senses. Being a special show, and on the weekend at Euro time, we had a lot of guest acts for this show. Andy was there to record The Senses. When I arrived, there was no room in the dressing room, so I had to set up a makeshift makeup table in the parking lot. It wasn’t exactly fancy, and the exhaust fumes were a bit overwhelming, but the natural lighting was good. And it was there that I went into labour, which oddly felt more like a terrible gas pain. I ran for the toilet and sat doubled over, moaning in agony for around twenty minutes, until Web gave me a peppermint ball, after which followed one huge emission, resulting in me passing Little Stoke out my arse. I was surprised by this, but accepted it as part of the bizarre experience I was having. Lucky thing for him, I had had an enema that morning. I remember feeling glad he would not have stretched out my girly bits. And, they were right, as soon as he was out, all the pain was gone!

I swaddled the newly-born demon spawn in toilet paper. I frowned as I scrutinised him. Ten fingers and ten toes, all the parts were there and where they belonged. But he had a full beard. WTF?!?! And something about his eyes, his face… he looked nothing like Stoke, neither sock monkey Stoke nor human Stoke. I tilted my head to one side, staring off into the distance as my mind combed through the events of the past nine days. Slowly my eyes widened and my jaw lowered as shock and horror spread through me. My face started to burn with a crimson sheen.

“OH MY GAWD” I cried out. “THIS ISN’T THE SOCK MONKEY’S BABY….” I clamped my lips tightly together, both sets, as I recalled in dismay that visit to Santa the week before last. He was so handsome, I do love a cuddly man! I am a bit of a chubby chaser in both lives. I love some meat on dem bones, and I don’t much care if it’s beef or pork… in fact I prefer a bit of both. And Santa was so… accommodating… when I was sitting on his lap. I was a Gorean kajira after all, I couldn’t help myself!!

But what about Richard Simmons, the balls of wool, the knitting needles?! That all had to mean something. Meh… I shrugged as I cuddled my newborn bundle of hope and joy. I couldn’t wait to show Web her new baby brother. I decided I needed rest so I reclined in the back of Paul’s limo in comfort and poured myself a bourbon. I settled Little Stoke into the seat alongside me. Above the limo shone a spotlight that highlighted Paul’s limousine. And then I saw the Three Stooges coming towards me, bearing gifts of marijuana, Cheetohs and Baileys. For the time being, I was content. Later, I slipped backstage into The Empire Room and was taken aback when I saw Jilley standing in her spot holding a bearded baby that looked a lot like Little Stoke. I arched a brow. So I guess she sat on the lap of the same Santa I had. Oh dear! Both Jilley and I were on Santa’s naughty list!

And then I was given an omen, that this offspring of mine was surely pure evil. JUST LOOK WHO teleported to the sim immediately after I slipped backstage:

That photo was not tampered with. Here is a closeup of the name of the being who entered the sim immediately after the birth of Little Stoke:

[17:39] Sidwg: Baby sees everything… well she thinks she does 😉

If that doesn’t tell ya something, perhaps THIS will! LOOK WHO appeared on the train at the Monarch’s Christmas show. I’m telling you, he’s stalking me. And I can’t prove it, but I am sure he had something to do with Little Stoke’s conception. Look at the smug little bastard with the self-satisfied grin. Look at what he’s wearing… that is proof he possessed Santa:

So I did the natural thing that one does when her Baby Daddy makes an appearance. I sat down and demanded child support:

And that is what happened. No sock monkey sex. Well at least not with me. Can’t speak for Jilley.

Which brings me to tonight’s show! It’s CHRISTMAS and Jilley got the place all prettied for the holiday. She and Paul greeted arriving guests with champagne and well-wishes as DJ Corri filled the air with warm festive music.

Backstage, Wiz in his Christmas cap was patrolling the standy thingies, making sure all the talent were ready to perform their Christmas-best. There WAS a little accident with one of the guests… it was a bit of a mess. He crashed his sleigh, reindeer got loose in the venue (turns out they are not housebroke) and gifts spilled all over the place, snow all over The Empire Room’s lovely carpet….

Jilley was aghast, screaming for Paul who called for Elayn to treat the jolly driver of the sleigh. Fortunately, he was well-padded so only had a few bumps and bruises that will heal quickly. I’d say he got lucky, and we were all lucky he didn’t take out any pedestrians in the process of crashing the show… quite literally:

I personally think it was Jilley’s cleavage that caused the wreck. What do you think? Look at her acting all innocent like, “Who… me?!?” Yes you! Poor Santa must have been so distracted, no wonder you are on his naughty list:

Well, enough of all that. Let’s have a look at the show!

But first, of course the Golden Tweezers Award presentation, which tonight is a ménage à trois! Our very first Golden Tweezer threesome! Let us congratulate the winners for the following appalling display of wicked innuendo and just plain bad manners:

[18:06] Elayn: I wonder what sort of conflicted state it would cause Baby if Si carried a Sock Monkey????? hmmmmm
[18:06] Sidwg: who says I dont….
[18:06] Sidwg: lol
[18:07] Elayn: {snickers evilly}
[18:07] BabypeaVonPhoenix Bikergrrl: As long as no one slips him a viagra when he has it on
[18:07] Sidwg: no the monkey would become a Gorilla

*just dies laughing*

CONGRATULATIONS ELAYN, SIGH, AND BABYPEA!

Now, without any further insanity, WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND!!
==========================================
Lina
With Stoke, Jilley, Evangelina, Web, Diamonte
Train… Shake up christmas

1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
The inspiration for my act this week was just holiday fun, I love the beat and the energy in this act.

2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
The hardest part was getting Santa to fly and land correctly. And my snow would not fly straight no matter what I did with it…

3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
This is a great energetic Christmas song, I could not resist.

4. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
I just want everyone to have a great Holiday Season regardless of faith, and a safe and Happy New Year.

[18:05] melina Aurotharius: thank you there might be a sock monkey in the sleigh for you Pea
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Adam
With Bella, Si and Britt
Idina Menzel & Michael Bublé – Baby It’s Cold Outside

[17:42] Sidwg: I need to starch my bobble next year.. this ones very floppy
[17:43] Brittainy Collins hands Si some starch so he has a stiffy bobble and no wobbly floppy bobble
[17:43] Elayn sneaks Si a little blue pill for his floppy bobble
[17:45] Sidwg: although i was given one once by a mate as a joke and OMG!! they work damn quick
[17:45] BB Schmooz: lol
[17:45] Sidwg: in the supermarket… i was not impressed
[17:45] Elayn: it’s not you that needs to be impressed Si
[17:46] melina Aurotharius: that gives a whole new meaning to meat packing district
[17:46] Sidwg: i was in shorts in a Tesco supermarket with 2 mates from uni and had to buy a large washing powder box to leave the store! I was not happy
==========================================
Corri
With Ray
Sia – Snowman

1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
I love Sia and wanted to do something a bit different from the usual Christmas songs

2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
Nothing to challenging in this dance really.

3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
This dance was done just for fun. It makes me smile

[18:12] Sidwg: hahaha someone just asked me if Britt and I are together, so she would be Britt De Brit
==========================================
Queenie
With Jilley, Lina, Stoke and Beebs
Christmas Lights by Coldplay

Above photo by Ginty Bachem, with thanks!
1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
The song moved me to tears the first time I heard it. It still does now but for a totally different reason. A fellow friend and dancer also danced to this song. I was in her set and she was in mine. This song reminds me of her and makes my cry every time I hear it.

2. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
I think she song is just so sad and so beautiful all at the same time. I just wanted to dance to it.

3. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
Keep the people you love close!
I hope everyone has the most magical holiday!!

Above photo by R. Crap Mariner, with thanks!
[18:26] Queenie Acacia: as some of you know, Winnie and I danced this dance together, I was in her set and she was in mine. I dedicated this to her here in chat. I cant hear it without crying now. Thank you all for dancing with me.
==========================================
Nara
With Diawa
Candy Cane Lane by Sia

1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
Always liked Sia and when I heard this particular song thought it may be fun to create an act to it.

2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
Usually I do fade out of sets when changing to another. This time had the Candy Cane Lane rising up and getting us landing at the same time as the set was fully in place took a lot of timing. It was a new challenge but that is what creativity is all about. Also having the right animations, blending them. I am one that strives for no slides or ‘jerks’ wherever possible.

3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
No was purely fun and even better that Diawa was dancing with me.

4. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
Just that I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. Peaceful, loving and totally happy.

Thank you.

Nara

[18:56] masterperry: We all know LL can never do anything WRONG LOL
==========================================
Babypea
With Gunner, Web, BB, and Kelly
Stumpmaster Remix

Above photo by Chopper Gurbux, with thanks!
[18:38] DarkRaven Ninetails passes her some K/Y
[18:38] DarkRaven Ninetails: that had to hurt
[18:42] BabypeaVonPhoenix Bikergrrl: I ate a tub of low-fat cream cheese earlier so I’m all good
==========================================
Sarah
With Di Hollow and Ginty Bachem
Thomas Bergersen – Empire of Angels (Sun)

1. Why did you choose this song to create a dance to? What was your inspiration?
Besides the cool song by thomas bergersen, its an inspirng song of beauty and harmony.

2. What were the particular challenges you dealt with when creating this dance?
Timing was crucial to parts of the routine, tho lag is an unpredictable companion it could show on time as rehearsal or it could be seconds one way or another.

LOOK LOOK, I got a pick of the kick!
3. What does this dance mean to you? Is it a bit of fun, or is there a deeper meaning?
It means that life can be enjoyed its not all white or black or red, we can all strive to be more of the good things than that of negativity and obscurity.

4. Is there anything you would like others to know about your dance?
Angels are a source of divinity, protectors, todo gods will in the divine realm. May you all have a blessed and wonderous festive season!

[18:21] SarahRho Huntress: mamel chef chilli noodles wow talk about burn the lips off a koala
==========================================
Hailie
With Everyone

[17:21] Jilley: you got the coal Ant? lol
Jessie J – Jingle Bell Rock

[17:27] Queenie Acacia: touch Jilley’s sack
Ariana Grande – Last Christmas

[17:14] BB Schmooz: just killed a man…..
Christina Aguillera – This Christmas

[18:09] Elayn: you know, stiff socks are usually not a good sign…
[18:10] Greenie Flanagan: omg I want to wash my eyes now
It’s R!!

[17:41] Brittainy Collins: I paid 50 cereal box tops for that!

[19:10] Jeniale Inglewood: And to all…a good night! *poofs*
I thought I said no further madness??!!

Anyway, we at Elysium Cabaret wish you and yours a safe and happy holiday season. No matter what you believe or what you do or don’t celebrate, stay safe, have fun, be good to one another… be kind. And plan out the best New Year ever. Pick one thing from your bucket list and go do it. It’s called ‘self-care’ and it MATTERS! XXOOs

DJ Gunner wanted to say Merry Christmas too, so this is from him. He has been very RL busy with a new job that has kept him from DJing for a while. Hopefully that will continue because the money is nice. 😀